All around her the bustle whizzes by. Lives of others surround her existence and she wanders through between them. The joy, the magic, where has it gone? Her heart cries sadly for the woman she has become. Each Christmas the darkness clings to her, it’s wretched claws tightening around her until she can’t breath under it’s grip. She awaits it this year, sniffing the air for the foul stench of her festive season darkness.
Surprise, surprise, she doesn’t detect anything She starts to look forward to and plan a Christmas day with gladness in her heart. One night an adventure begins with pancakes and the best friend and her 2 year old. It’s surprise ending is a late night trip into the city. The Melbourne Town Hall is lit up in a magnificent display of light and sound. Magical minutes of perfectly timed animation and music fitted intricately onto a majestic building. Then wandering through Melbourne discovering Christmas lights and windows on it’s streets.
The magic of Christmas lights reflects in the face of a child. Something trickles into her soul. Her own heart finds again the joy that once filled her heart as a child. She remembers nights tracking the progress of Santa, swearing that she heard him chomping on biscuits in the dark hours of the night. This Christmas season she finds delight in the magic of Christmas, surprising herself. And others.
She thinks she’s made it through. The grip of the monster comes by surprise as she is going about her tasks on Christmas night. It should be a special day she thinks, but here I am doing what I do every day. As the days pass, families do family things and for her, life continues as normal. Her singleness and far away family rendering her life bland and out of any loops.
She holds on. Clinging to the magic that trickled into her heart only days before. Fighting the claw that feeds her lies awaiting the next pleasant surprise of freedom.