This was a hard one as I am a bit slow. Intelligent yes, a tad slow nonetheless. You see, I look back into my past and it’s hard to see the moments that changed my life, my thinking, how I work, how I process stuff. This could also be my foggy memory interfering. I did just read somewhere the other day that once you turn 30, your brain cells start dying off. If the internet says so it must be true. (Note to self: Must remember to google products/foods to increase brain power).
I digress, where was I. Oh yes, moments. There was a moment where my world came tumbling down around me, and I remember that vividly. The moment that a close friend and foster aunt died in a car accident. It was 3 weeks before my 21st birthday and I’d spoken to her on the phone a couple of days before. I remember literally collapsing as a friend arrived to go shopping. It was like the movies.
After that I lost faith in life, in hope, and motivation in most things. I dropped out of uni, I became withdrawn and depressed. I became a shadow of myself. This moment, while it deeply changed me, also brought to the surface long hidden brokenness.
Since then, just over a decade ago, it’s been a long climb, sometimes a sprint, sometimes a leisurely stroll. The most profound moments that have spurred me on has been the Aunty Sair Bear ones.
Children of sisters, brother and friend’s coming into this world. For these little ones I want to be a better person. Each moment that I discovered I was to be an aunty again, whether biological or not, overflowed with joy. The birth of each of them the most exciting moments in my life. I have become determined to walk through this life more like Christ, with more love, more grace and more whole. If I can simply be all that God created me to be, to keep putting the pieces of my life together, I will be the best aunty that I possibly can be. A place of fun, care, safety, nurturing and love in the midst of a chaotic world.
My little people teach me so much in this world. Their sometimes profound words and natural intuitiveness to people is awe inspiring. Their natural and easy giving of love teaches me how I want to be in love with people. I treasure the moments that I have with them, the giving of their love, their grins, laughter, tears, whines, bossiness, cups of tea, babycino’s, songs and ordinary vegemite toast moments.
The best moments of all are the random and unprovoked outbursts of “I love you” that comes from their whole hearts.
I currently have 3 nieces, 1 nephew and 2 “nephews” and 1 “niece”, it is an honor and blessing to be walking through life by their side.